This Guy Loves To Party

I graduated from a top university just a few years ago. In my final year, I did the least amount of work possible to still qualify for my diploma. Now I wish I could go back.

In just the past few months, I’ve discovered a number of skills I wish I even had the smallest amount of proficiency in. I’m talking some of the “old school” basics, like cooking, wood work, and mechanics. I also wish I just knew a bit more about a number of subjects, like history and science. Some creative writing classes would be fun and beneficial to me, too.

This list could go on and on. It all boils down to this: now that I’m in my mid-20s, I’m starving for skills and knowledge. When I was in my late teens and early 20s, I couldn’t give a crap. When I couldn’t give a crap is when I had the free time to dedicate myself to school, but now I want all that knowledge and have other ambitions that make dedicating myself to one location for a semester’s length very difficult.

Isn’t a diploma valuable for job hunting?

The diplomas handed out by even the world’s top universities carry very little of the value they used to. I’ve never once used my college degree for anything, and was surprised to find out recently that my mom had even received it in the mail. In the four years I spent trying to earn that degree — note I consider it time I spent earning a degree and not learning — I could have started at a job I was qualified for and worked my way up the food chain. College degrees do have the ability to start you off at a higher position, but those who develop valuable job-specific skills will eventually be higher and more powerful than those who rely mostly on the prestige of a college degree for promotions.

What are signs that I should or shouldn’t go to school?

In my final two years of school, I was taking classes I didn’t care about or have any interest in just so I could get a degree. In almost every single class I took, I did the bare minimum to be able to pass them.

If you have this mind set — that it’s better to pass classes than get something out of them — then in my mind you shouldn’t bother going to school. Sure there are social as well as other benefits, but you can find those without the university environment. They won’t be quite the same, though, so I won’t stop you from attending college for those reasons if that’s what you want.

I remember reading about schools going to “pass” or “no pass” systems long ago, ditching the grading system altogether. People got up in arms because they have no way of objectively knowing how well they’re doing, and I was of the same attitude. I’ve realized now, though, that grades don’t mean anything. If you get the desired skill or knowledge you wanted out of the class, then it did its job — there’s no grade necessary. If you feel like you need a grade out of a class, and not a skill set or knowledge, then in my mind college isn’t for you either.

The diploma system completely ruins universities. If you love the material you’re studying for your diploma, then you’re one of the few lucky ones. Most people get trapped into classes they hate simply because they’re requirements to fulfill for a piece of paper that will likely get very little use in the future. If I could do it over again, I would have skipped the hunt for a diploma and just paid tuition for a few years taking the classes I wanted until I got kicked out.

I guess my entire argument boils down to this: college should not be a means to get a diploma because diplomas simply aren’t worth very much in the real world compared to well-developed skill sets and knowledge. Go to college for the latter, not the former.

College or university is not necessary, and by association neither are their diplomas in most cases. However, if you’re actually interested in learning and developing new skills, then it’s the best thing you can do for yourself.

The alternative for those of us who can’t go to university now

I have a lot of things I want to do now — travel, explore, experiment. My lifestyle simply doesn’t support attending even a community college over the course of three months. That’s not enough to stop me from continued learning, though. (That’s the fucking cheesiest sentence I’ve EVER written in my life. I’m so sorry.)

What I’ve found as a great alternative are short-term, intensive private classes.

In whatever subject you want to learn, they’re likely available in your area. My interest at this very second, for example, is cooking. I want to be useful in the kitchen. There are tons of one or two week cooking courses available where I am that meet for a couple hours a few nights a week.

I want to learn basic French. I’ve already researched French schools in Los Angeles, many of which have small group classes that do intensive night classes over a four week period. That’s perfect for me. I learned Spanish in Ecuador, which ended up being cheaper than private classes in the United States, even after adding in plane costs.

In a few months, I’m going to look into a basic “shop” class since I’m a useless urban dweller.

Most of these small-to-private classes carry pretty big price tags — $500 and more for four weeks or less — but are usually cheaper than taking classes at big universities. They’re also, in my mind, worth every penny regardless since they’re making me a better person. (Second fucking cheesiest sentence I’ve ever written in my life.)

What to get out of this

If you found this article because you’re out of high school and wondering if college is necessary for you, I hope my tips helped you make a decision.

If you are reading this because you’re old as shit like me but want to keep improving yourself (third cheesiest, this is a record), then just go do it.

And if you’re reading this because you’re bored, here’s a link to a Wikipedia entry on Karl Malone. I ended on it the other night while I, too, was bored. Maybe you can pick up where I left off.

If this doesn't turn you on, then good. It's supposed to be eaten.

Among my guiltiest pleasures, tucked between finding better ways to calculate the neutrino mass of supersymmetric particles and prank calling retards, is my love for self improvement blogs. While I really like a lot of the practical information they provide, there’s one subject on which I’ve never agreed with them: eating a vegetarian or vegan diet. (I make a blanket reference to “them” because all self improvement blog authors are one or the other. And they point it out a lot.)

Well, I’m here to defend meat. At least, in its dead form. I’m going to scientifically document this post the same way most self improvement bloggers document their defenses of going vegan: absolutely not at all.

Meat is delicious

There are some anomalies that don’t agree with this, but meat is delicious. Especially after experiencing the perfection that is Argentinean beef, there is nothing in this world that I would rather have inside me than a slender, juicy slab of meat. (EDIT: please read that in context.) I met multiple people in Argentina who claimed to be vegans who couldn’t resist and ate at least one steak. I’ll leave them anonymous and this claim very vague.

Meat Makes Me Feel Good

Many anti-meat folk claim that eating meat makes them feel gross. As in, the process of chewing and digesting meat results in them feeling physically ill. I would claim the same thing about vegetables if all I ever ate were McSalads made from plants grown in a test tube. If you eat high quality meat, like grass fed beef, you’ll not only feel good, but you’ll feel GREAT. (I spent fifteen minutes writing that single sentence.)

Meat makes me stronger

This is just the personal experience of me and millions of other people. Take it with a grain of salt. (Or take it with a slab of beef! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.)

Meat makes me better looking

It’s easier to put on muscle while eating meat. More muscle means more good looking. For anyone that claims otherwise, I’m going to need full body pics of you holding a newspaper so I can judge you.

Meat made us who we are today

We evolved into the supercreatures we are today because of meat. The high levels of omega 3s found in the meats and marrows that we ate long, long, long ago helped evolve our massive brain size. Judging by the amount of meat that I eat, my children will likely be early indicators of what the next evolutionary step is.

For those who don’t eat meat for humanitarian reasons

I respect your choice and have no criticisms.  While I don’t suffer the same guilt you do about killing and eating animals, I do give preferential treatment to black people because of my white guilt.  It’s a very similar level of guiltiness and I just wanted to say that I understand you.

I’m going to stop this now

I really do feel that eating meat is healthy, makes me look and feel better physically, and is the most delicious part of my diet. However, I feel like this article probably hurts the cause more than helps it, so I’m going to stop now.

Either way, I feel like I should point you in the direction of someone who follows the same plan and shares my beliefs, doesn’t write like a sarcastic jerk, and actually has good information. His name is Mark Sisson and his web site is Mark’s Daily Apple.  I have lost countless hours to his archive of articles on exercise, nutrition, and I’ll be honest, his golden blonde locks are absolutely gorgeous.

You’ll walk away from his blog posts satisfied, not pissed off like you are right now.

I have a very simple test to discern whether or not you are a total dick.  It’ll take you just a minute to complete.

When I worked in retail and customer service, I developed a theory that has proven to be 99% accurate in determining how total of a dick you are.  (I did that calculation on a TI-83 calculator, so it is definitely correct.)

Here it is:

If you have ever in your life had to ask to speak to a manager in any customer service interaction, you’re probably a total dick, but this isn’t a guarantee.  If you’ve had to ask to speak to a manager in a customer service interaction multiple times in your life, then you actually are a total dick.

When you think you are being wronged in a customer service interaction, you are most likely, in fact, being annoying and demanding more than a normal person would reasonably expect.

Any intelligently-run business, though, knows that customers like you aren’t worth the time or hassle.  So, of course, you’ll probably get what you want when you ask to speak to a manager, no matter how ridiculous your demand.

But you’re still a total dick.

Here’s a nice craigslist tip I just discovered and wanted to share.

I’m building a basic home gym and am trying to get weights on the cheap.  I’ve already got some equipment super cheap off craigslist, but need to get some more.

I found that every time I remembered to search for new deals, if a deal came up, it was already gone by the time I could contact the seller.  I guess a lot of other people have the same idea as me.

I just found a somewhat hidden craigslist feature that makes my search much, much easier, and much more automated.  I want to share it in case you find yourself wanting to monitor the “for sale” section on craigslist for a future deal.

You will need an RSS reader for this to work.  I use the Mac OS X Mail program’s built in RSS feature, but a popular solution is to use Google Reader, since it integrates with your Google account.

Just go to your local city’s craigslist site and do a “for sale” search as you normally would.  (I’m looking for Olympic weights, so I just search for “olympic”.)  Scroll to the very bottom of the search results page, and on the bottom right, there’s a link that says “RSS”.  That link is actually an RSS feed for your search term, meaning you can put it into an RSS reader and it’ll automatically fill in all the latest search results for your specified term.

The beauty of RSS is that it automatically updates itself when new content is available — meaning, in this case, when new results come up for your search on craigslist.

If the idea of RSS is confusing to you, then check out this website for a brief explanation.  And once you know what RSS is, subscribe to my web site’s RSS feed.

Lost? Looking for something... more? (Photo: Todd Michael M.)

Everyone has big dreams.  You’ll be hard-pressed to find someone in this world who doesn’t have high aspirations for doing something.

The only problem is that most people are lazy.  Super lazy.  They’ll talk about wanting to do something, but never actually put in the effort to achieve it.

What these people need is a little bit of motivation, and I know just where they can find it.

What’s the big secret?  If you’re looking for motivation to get things done, you should sprain your ankle really badly.  I recently tried this tactic out, and I can tell you that it works like a charm.

You can sprain your ankle in a variety of ways.  I chose to do it while playing basketball, but I’ve heard of people doing it while running, skateboarding, or even just walking completely normally.  The possibilities are endless.

You see, this technique works every time because sprained ankles completely incapacitate you.  Going outside of the house becomes an absolute chore as you struggle to hobble along on crutches, the sizzling summer sun beating down on your head.  Even moving between rooms in your houses makes you wince in agonizing pain.  As each activity-less house-bound day progresses, the hungrier you become to actually do shit, until after the first week you are desperate to tackle every lingering goal you’ve ever had.

Don’t listen to the so-called “experts” who claim you should break an ankle to find the motivation to get things done.  Their information is outdated and they’re just out to make a quick buck.  Sprained ankles will heal faster and don’t require costly medical bills or trips to the “doctor”.

In other news, my sprained ankle is healing pretty well, thanks for asking.

When my grandma passed away a couple years ago, my parents were surprised by what they found rummaging through her stuff.

Among all the pictures, gifts, and more that she received from us and other friends and family members over the years, there was only one thing she kept.

Greeting cards.

Every holiday.  Every birthday.  Every special day for her that we acknowledged with a cheap, last-minute card.  She kept all of them.  My parents discovered stacks upon stacks of the guys, all arranged in chronological order.

Her old family photos?  Nah, just old trash, thrown out years ago.  The computers and other expensive electronics we tried to give her as gifts?  All returned to the stores.  The only thing that she held onto were generic Hallmark cards that, I’m pretty sure, my parents normally signed off on for me and my brothers.

It’s not just my grandma who was into greeting cards.  In the 1960s, there was a car salesman named Joe Girard who was considered the most successful car salesman in the world, pulling in around $200,000 a year in commissions.  (This at a time when CEOs were making far less than that.)  The secret to his success?  Every month, he’d find a reason — usually some kind of major holiday — to send every customer he’d had a postcard.  It would be holiday themed and always contain the same message: “I like you.”  Nothing more than that.  That’s 12 carbon-copy cloned cards a year to every person he’d ever gotten contact information from on the job.

I realize now that I struggle to describe historical events without making them sound super creepy.  (Please see previous paragraph.)  But the point remains: people love greeting cards, no matter the occasion and no matter the effort put into making them.

One more example.  I don’t celebrate my birthday, for a number of reasons.  I don’t tell people when it’s my birthday, and don’t really advertise the date unless asked.  My birthday this past year was uneventful, spent in Ushuaia, Argentina with a group of people that had no idea I was officially a year older.  But what absolutely made my day were the four e-mails from people who remembered what day it was and wanted to acknowledge it regardless of how I acted.

People love greeting cards.  It doesn’t matter the format.  Just send them if you want people to love you like they love me.

This is unrelated to anything I’d normally ever write about on this blog, so put up with it.

When I got to my parents’ house in San Francisco, I found that the wifi was slow.  Old-person-too-proud-for-a-wheelchair slow.

But the odd thing was, it was plenty fast on every single other computer in the house.  It was just my MacBook and OS X that was that slow.

While investigating, I found that pure download speeds were perfect.  It was just loading web pages that was slow.  All online speed tests indicated the connection was perfect, but every web page loaded like I was on dial-up.

The point of this post is to provide the fix for this problem, since I don’t know how well-documented it is.  All I had to do was go to my root hard drive (not my user-specific folder), go into the “Library” folder, go into the “Preferences” folder, throw away the “SystemConfiguration” folder, and then reboot.  Everything was flawless after that.

(There are probably specific files in there you can toss out to fix the problem, but it just seems easier to toss the whole folder to solve the problem.  Nothing gets hurt or lost in the process.)

I was running OS X 10.5.6 when this happened, but I’ve seen the problem happen in the past with older installations too.  And I promise to never post anything this nerdy again.

As I write this, I’m sitting in beautiful and popular New Jersey, USA.  The last eight months of my life were spent all over South America.

Although I was never homesick, I discovered there were a few things I missed in my time away.

1. Sassy Black Women

This list is in no particular order, except for this entry.  This is a definite #1.  With a strangle-hold on the government service industry in the USA, sassy black women show other black women the world over how “being black” is done.

2. Leaf Blowers That Just Blow Leaves Out Into The Street Instead of Sucking Them Up And Turning Them Into Mulch Or Something

I didn’t really see any of these in South America, but everywhere I turn here in the USA, there’s someone in their driveway using one of these leaf blowers to blow stray leaves onto someone else’s property or nearby onto the street.  Wouldn’t a leaf vacuum of some sort be way more effective, and not result in the wind just blowing the leaves off the street right back onto the driveway?

3. Bros

The fraternity system in South America failed.  Where are the bros?  Luckily they’re all here in the USA, ready to awkwardly and drunkenly try to bond with me and ask me how much I got laid in South America.

4. Sane Drivers

The taxis in South America usually have a sticker asking, “How am I driving?  555-5555.”  The answer is typically, “Like a fucking maniac.”

5. Cash Cab

I never actually watched this show before I left, but I’ve watched a few episodes already and love it.  The host is charming.  Yes I said it.

6. Wearing Work Out Shorts With Knee-High Dress Socks

All my other socks are dead and I haven’t bought any new ones yet.  Thanks for not staring at me, USA.

7. Bumper Stickers That Offensively State An Opinion

I had trouble telling where every car owner stood on issues like abortion and gun control while in South America.  Not here!

8. Dogs Without Balls

It’s relieving to be able to pet a dog in the USA without it running in circles around me, trying to gnaw on my arm, and then pooping somewhere, all in the time span of six seconds.  Dogs without balls are awesome.

9. Cats

People can have cats in the USA because the ball-less dogs don’t eat them.  I like cats.

I didn’t want to end this on “I like cats,” but that’s all I’ve got.

I’m in Bogota, Colombia right now, about to go back to the USA in a couple days.

But the truth is, I want to be back in the USA now.  All my goals are very USA-centric, and staying in international hostels doesn’t make me very productive.  I feel like I’m not really doing much here.  Being a tourist doesn’t excite me much.  I’m South America’d out, for now.

The problem, though, is that I booked my plane ticket a month and a half ago, and it costs $100 to change it.  Not worth it.  I’d rather spend that money intelligently on H&B (hookers & beer).

When out of curiosity I hopped onto JetBlue’s web site to see how much a plane ticket leaving tomorrow would cost, I discovered it was the exact same price as the plane ticket I bought a month and a half ago.  Son of a bitch.

And almost every other search I’ve done in the past has brought up the same results: a lot of airlines charge the same at the last minute that they charge months in advance.  Often, the last minute tickets are even cheaper.

This isn’t always the case, but it is often enough to have made me realize: buying a plane ticket even a month in advance is pointless, and I always regret it.  I hate limiting my time somewhere, or keeping myself trapped somewhere I don’t want to be.

From now on, I am only buying plane tickets at the last minute, when I know I’m ready to leave.

NOTE: updates on here are a little sparse right now because of my travel schedule.  I have a couple big updates planned for this site, and will be putting everything into action in the next week.  I recommend subscribing to my RSS feed to be automatically notified of my updates.

The idea of the American Dream has been lost, I think.  It’s now all about material gain, building yourself from nothing to something, and, in the end, having a nice house and an expensive robot butler.

But the original definition of the American Dream represents something completely different to me.  From the original book, Epic of America, that defined the term:

The American Dream … has not been a dream of material plenty, though that has doubtlessly counted heavily. It has been a dream of being able to grow to fullest development as a man and woman, unhampered by the barriers which had slowly been erected in the older civilizations, unrepressed by social orders which had developed for the benefit of classes rather than for the simple human being of any and every class.

What I get from this is the idea that the American Dream is less about material wealth, and more about being a complete, happy person.  And, to me, this definition is much more attainable and fulfilling.

I’ve developed a lifestyle of traveling, learning, and living that costs me less than $1,000 a month to sustain.  I love my life.  I could fail to bring in a single cent of income, and my savings from 2 years of retail working would keep me funded for years to come.  I’ll be giving back to society in a big way — when I’m ready.  I’m just preparing myself for that moment by constantly learning and making myself a more complete person right now.

But somehow the American Dream has mutated into a beast of unfulfilling hard work and monetary gain.  It’s turned into the idea of dedicating yourself to the things that aren’t the most important to you, so that you have lots of money that you don’t necessarily need in the bank.

This is why I propose we move back to the original idea of the American Dream.  Enrich yourself and do the things you want to do.  Use your time and resources more wisely.  Take singing classes, learn self defense, dedicate yourself to acting.  What have you really wanted to do, that you haven’t allowed yourself to do yet?

Complete yourself as a person.  In the United States — and in many other developed nations today — you have the opportunity to drop everything and immerse yourself in those things that matter most to you.

So go do it.